Fingers pressed over nose and
mouth, nothing left but tall lashes,
swollen pupils heavy with all I
should have never had to carry.I remember nails pressed so
deeply into soft young skin I
thought I could feel cells
thickening with hatred.I remember drum beats
on my body, looking up only
to see my own fists banging
on my chest.
i wake with a heart heavier
than my granddad’s coffin
and i wonder why it is that
i feel like this on sunny days,
why it is that i start missing you
after having you throw knives
and bullets at me in my dream.
i curl around my sorrow, the
edges pushing into my skin.
pushing, but never breaking
the surface. i am always the
only one to bring out the lava.
